First and foremost I know it's been a minute since I've posted but it's summer so can you really blame me? Nah. I've had some time to think and self-reflect on where my headspace has been this past month. Going on hiatus from my blog as allowed my creative juices to start stirring up again and it has resulted in me having an explosion of thoughts that needed to get out in the open. So, here we are go.
Let's just get some truths listed out here. I consider myself to be somewhat of a feminist. I say "some-what" because although I am for equal pay and equal opportunities for my ladies, I'm not out there protesting alongside my fellow women. I do believe in the right we have as women to be given the same opportunities as men whether that's in the work place or in life.
This day in age, women can pretty much do just about anything men can do, at the same level or even better. Back in the day, it used to be that us women had to depend on men in order for to have a life. Meaning- we weren't allowed to work so if we wanted somewhat of a life we had to shack up with a man, have a family, and then have a life that way. Not anymore sweethearts. We don't need men to put a roof over our head, bacon on the table, or to show us the world. To be honest, we don't really need men in our life to survive at all. So if men do want to be in a modern's women life, lets get one thing straight, there are no more upper hands and the playing ground is now leveled.
Modern women lead a life of independence. We enjoy getting shit done on our own terms, in our own time, and by ourselves. The days that we wait for a man to scoop us by our feet and "show us the way" are long gone. Either you jump on the bandwagon or get out of the way hun because we're not worried about getting married, we're worried about our careers and everything else that life has to offer us.
I've always been one to get a jump start on my career and to work on the best version of myself whether that was furthering my education, landing a kick-ass job, working on my health and fitness, or surrounding myself with the best kind of people. Everyone would always say to me, "you're channeling so much energy into your career, blog, and fitness" what about your dating life? Of course I think having a relationship with someone and starting a family is one of the best experiences one could ever go through however at this point in my life, I'm just not interested in channeling energy towards that. The world is a different place now for many women and myself. I know plenty of women who have started their own businesses and side hustled the shit out of their life to gain that satisfaction of doing something so incredible all by themselves.
So if you've gotten this far in my post and you're probably still wondering, who the heck are modern women and what exactly do they want- well they want something real and soul satisfying. We are done with the games and the ghosting. We are done with the miscommunications and beating around the bush. We are done with men sugar coating every little thing so our feelings don't get hurt. The games were cute back in the day but if we have to find out what you're doing based on your social media presence then no thank you. There are plenty of women now a days who are done with the chase and are ready to actually have something real. Instead of making something up, we'd rather you just tell us. If you don't want to settle down in a real relationship right now tell us. If you don't like our hair or how we dress, tell us. If you just don't know what the fuck you want, tell us.
The world of modern dating has also played a huge role in the way men and women act. The fact that we have so much accessibility at the touch of our fingerprints to get intimate with someone has changed the dynamics of human relationships as a whole. The lines between a casual weekday hookup and and a summer fling have blurred and as a result engulfed some people into thinking they are involved in something larger than it really is. One night stands have been romanticized into fake relationships and soon people will think its normal to talk to someone across the world just cause. But just because WE CAN doesn't mean we should -- it'll probably mess with our headspace.. or so they say.
The role of both men and women are ever-changing. Everything is constantly evolving and if you don't keep up well then you'll always feel like you're behind. As modern women we understand this and are right there with you. We understand that it's a struggle and sometimes you just really don't know what the fuck to do and that is fine.
Love is a funny thing. There's no right or wrong way to love someone or to fall in love with someone. Sometimes things happen that are out of our control and things fall into place in a weird unexpected way but it works. So gents, let me ask you this, what do you want. If you see yourself wanting a woman who is independent and who has her shit together than commend her. If you think that's sexy then you have to show her that you appreciate her endeavors and respect her hustle. Chances are she has played the games and will eye roll right through your bullshit. If you want to understand the way we think, you have to be present and show up ( and I mean literally show up, ghosting aint cute no more). Once you've committed to wanting to understand us then the rest will come naturally. We want men to be real with us and to captivate our soul, so show us you're game and the rest will fall into place.