Let’s just take a moment to absorb in the above title. If you know me in *real life* or have taken a gander to the right of this post then you know that I am Asian and more specifically Chinese. If you haven’t picked up on that then, maybe you should get your eyes checked--and your head too while you’re at it. See Image A below.
I have two Chinese parents, three Chinese brothers and a pair of Asian eyes. I ate rice with chopsticks almost every night growing up and participated in traditional Chinese activities (Yes, I really dressed up as a lion for Chinese New Year). But, I’m also your average twenty-something-year-old trying to make it in the world and obviously still struggling. Like any jaded twenty-something-year-old, I partake in all the necessary (adult) activities during the weekday to live irresponsibly during the weekend activities. I have a 9-to-5 job and a side hustle all because I like to brunch way to much with my friends. I am also v social media crazed, date occasionally and enjoy getting drunk on the weekends-- don’t judge. I am essentially your average twenty-something-year-old woman living in a big city, or so I thought.
The other week I was talking to a friend of a friend who was telling me some story that I obviously wasn’t paying attention to but occasionally threw in the “omg no way”, “wait really?” or “wow”-- those safe phrases one uses when they want to pretend they are listening/engaged. As she was going on and on about her story, my mind was going further and further into Rae Chow Daydreams. My daydreams were interrupted when she hit me and said “Did you hear me?, I think I have someone for you.” Like any single woman, my ears obviously peaked and I wanted to know more, so I asked. And then she said it. The phrase that immediately makes my blood boil more than you would better believe.
"He’s into Asians, I think he’ll like you"
To most people, this phrase probably wouldn’t even make you flinch and rightfully so. I wouldn’t expect it to unless you are one of my few Asian homies. Now don’t worry this isn’t taking a turn to become some equality, f racism post. This phrase has been said to me twice in the past two weeks, which is a lot.
Growing up in a predominately white community my entire life and the majority of my friends being non-asian, I have unofficially named myself everyone's “Asian Friend” which is totally fine with me because it is true. However, I am also just another twenty-something-year-old woman who probably likes all of the same things as the basic blonde standing next to me, Starbs included.
So this is an open letter to the men with yellow fever and to the women who make assumptions about others based on their looks or ethnicities. The world and life is so much bigger than my almond shaped eyes and rice based diet. My ideal ~future~ partner will respect where I have come from, understand the importance of my Chinese culture, but also know that it doesn’t entirely define the woman I have become today. He should be able to enjoy eating with chopsticks (no forks allowed, jk), but also understand that an instagrammable rainbow latte is just as important to my life. So friends, table your assumptions and get to know the person I am, not the one I look like.