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You Don't Have To Marry The People You Date

It’s funny how things have changed since my parents generation. My parents got married and had kids before they were 30 and have been together ever since- you go Pat & Lars! But for most of us, me included, that is most definitely not the case. I’m in the latter half of my 20s and am living the best life of my life...alone.

When getting into a relationship there are several things that go through one’s head:

  • Are they nice?

  • Can they make me laugh?

  • Can I hang out with them everyday and not get sick of them?

  • Do we connect emotionally, spiritually, and physically?

And lastly, can I see myself marrying them? I’ve always thought that the people I date must represent some of the qualities I see in someone who I would want to be my partner for life. If they aren’t aligned with the same life morals and characteristics than what is the point? Wrong.

You don’t have to marry the people you date

That in itself is one of the reasons why dating exists.... To figure out what you want. To figure out what you can live with or live without. To figure out what you can handle when things get tough. Dating is the action of figuring out, not just who is good for you, but who is your best match, your best partner.

The times have changed from our parent’s generation. You don’t just meet someone in your apartment building, on your street, in your local coffee shop, or in the neighborhood. The exposure to potential soulmates has increased dramatically from the click of a couple buttons on our smartphones and that my friend, is why it may seem so difficult and frustrating. There are so many more options and potential mates out there BUT it’s not necessarily a bad thing.

Think of it as having that many more opportunities to be exposed to different walks of life and to experience different relationships. Being single used to have a stigma to it and people used to “feel bad” for you if you were single, but in actuality maybe we’re the lucky ones. We’re the ones who can create those memories with our friends without having someone tie us down. We’re the ones who can stay out till the sun comes out or go on a spontaneous trip without someone bothering us.

I think that some women and men get caught up in the fabricated idea that you meet your soulmate in college or before college, date for a few years, then get engaged by 26/27, married by 28/29, and have your first kid all before 30. I mean it makes total sense why we think that since most of our parents followed that path. But let me tell you, the times have changed. The whole world of dating has changed from IRL to URL and it’s making meeting people that much more frequent. Before the internet, we would only meet people if they were in the same classes or through a friend. Now as soon as we turn on our phones, we have 100+ potential relationships at our fingertips. So take advantage of this. Meet, talk, and date as many as people as you can because after all, it’ll help you in the long run.

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