Communication is key. We've heard this countless times whether its from our parents, siblings, boss, best friend or ex boyfriend. Just kidding definitely not the last one (it’s probably the other way around). ANYWAYS, being able to have an open dialogue is what helps more relationships and friendships last and flourish. Now, this goes back to the basics. Females and males are constructed differently from their appearance, ability to analyze & understand, to the way they communicate. Men are taught that they shouldn’t express emotion. For example, when a young boy gets hurt his father doesn’t comfort him rather he tells him to “man up and get over it” which spills into their adult life. Women are taught to show compassion and talk about their emotions aka be motherly. Societal expectations construct our ideas/notions about what a specific role “should" look like which leads to the differences we have in gender communication. Either way in order to communicate, one must understand the other person and their reasoning for saying certain things or acting a certain way-this way it will be easier for that person to respond. But what happens if you have no idea why someone did what they did or what it even means. If you are a guy reading this post (hey boys!) then you are in for a treat. Here is your ultimate guide to the female brain. The ins and outs and everything in between to understand why your female friend/boss/girlfriend/sister, etc. does what she does! Lets get started.
1.LISTEN (ACTIVELY)
This has to be one of the most basic and easiest rules of understanding the female brain and all brains for that matter. Yes, most men say that they listen to their women but it’s more than just listening its actively listening. Women tend to drop many hints when they are expressing themselves (body language, sighs, certain vocabulary, or repetitiveness). Focus on our eyes, hands, and tone because once that is done it will reveal a whole lot more (maybe more than you bargained for). Try to refrain from looking at your phone or around the room. Yes this is hard and we are all guilty of it but, if you appear to be actively listening (nodding, asking questions, clarifying) it will show us that you are in fact listening which will help both of us in the long run. If a woman says something more than once that means it is important (so yes jot that down). HINT- Let us have the last word once in a while (it not a sign of masculine weakness) but more of an understanding of what we have been saying. After all, silence is a virtue.
2.IS IT TOO LATE NOW TO SAY #SORRY?
One of the most frustrating things for anyone is having an unnecessary argument that goes on forever. Now, I'm not saying that women aren't guilty of this because we are, HOWEVER a simple and genuine apology can and will go a long way. Empty apologies are just as useless or even worse than no apology. If you are going to apologize make sure you mean it. Don’t just do it to get us to shut up or stop crying—get down the root of the cause, understand it, and go from there. One of the reasons why arguments last so much longer than needed is because stubbornness gets in the way. In order to get through this in a fast and effective way, first refer to tip #1^. Listen to your woman to figure out what the problem is and how to go about it. It may be as simple as saying sorry & what you can work on. PLUS- this will give you brownie points and help you in further battles. (I mean discussions...).
3.MAKE TIME
One thing all guys can agree on is that women love to talk. More like, women can talk for hours at a time and at a rate of 1000 words per minute. So set time aside to talk with your woman and spend time with them. Yes this may seem obvious but many guys seem to lose sight of this simple task. We are not asking for you to spend every waking moment with us and to talk to us 24/7, but we are asking for some set a side time to enjoy each others company. Knowing that you are appreciated in a relationship can do wonders.
4.INDIRECT COMMUNICATION
Women are the queens of passive communication or thinking that men are mind readers. We may tend to think you know what we are thinking based on our text message or tone. But from much discussion with guys, I found out that guys normally don't pick up on these indirect communication cues. So listen up! Women love to communicate indirectly for whatever reason. We will either be short through text (single words or single K-the deadly one) to convey to you that we are upset or mad. We may also shut down and be silent. HINT: these include not keeping eye contact, talking extremely loud or extremely soft.
5. KNOW YOUR PARTNER
One of the most beautiful things about a relationship is the opportunity to explore another person fully; to find out his/her likes and dislikes and to love them regardless. To know that they hate tomatoes but love ketchup or that they always need to make their bed before they leave the house. We are the way we are due to our upbringing, experiences, and the people we surround ourselves with. Personally, I grew up dealing with my emotions by shutting other people out. This resulted in shutting myself away from my partner when getting into arguments. Until this was explained, I was perceived as a crazy person. However, now I know I have to learn to talk about my emotions rather than shutting everyone out. It’s important to find out what’s important to your partner whether its spending quality time, giving compliments, or small gifts. You can find out which is your love language by taking this test here.
So there you have it. 5 tips to understand the female mind a little better. Communication between male and females have always been a mystery and somewhat confusing. All I could tell you is we are the way we are and sometimes don't even know why. We may seem crazy, not logical, and down right insane but know that at the end of the day we love you (well sometimes!)
If you have another tip for how to understand the female brain or if you are a male and have a response, please let us know below!