Are you even speaking my language?

March 25, 2020

 

 

Let's talk about communication. One of the most important factors in ANY relationship whether it's professional, romantic, or platonic is communication and having open communication. Poor communication or mixed channels of communication most likely stem from the basics of understanding one another...and how one communicates. One of the things I struggle with is being secure in my thoughts and opinions and being able to relay that to another person. In many instances, we tend to not say exactly how we feel in fear of being judged or misinterpreted. To be honest I think it comes down to being comfortable with being uncomfortable aka being vulnerable. Now, that's a scary thought-- allowing yourself to be so open with someone where you almost feel raw. Allowing yourself to speak freely about how you feel-- what makes you tick or what causes those thoughts that have you spiraling down a path. It's no secret that we all experience this in our everyday life-- but of course I have to put a "Rae Chow" spin on things. Let's talk about communication within a romantic partnership. 

 

When I think of communication, I think about how I communicate with others and how others communicate with me. This can be done in several different ways however that's the caveat about communication and love languages. If you aren't in sync with your partner on communication you might as well be speaking two different languages-- and sometimes that is the issue. See, my two love languages are quality time spent and words of affirmation-- meaning I like to show my feelings through spending time with people and enjoy saying words about how my partner makes me feel/how I feel  i.e "I miss you or I'm thinking of you, etc...". Of course you may not have the same love languages as your partner and most often then not you don't and that is COMPLETELY OK-- but in order to progress and have a deeper connection it's important to understand each other's language. 

 

Now I know you're waiting for the juicy part of this blog post to happen so let's get straight to it. Most of the time, as humans we are terrified of being vulnerable -- which is completely natural but WHY? Is it because we are so scared of coming off as something that we aren't? Are we terrified of being called needy when in reality we are just looking for the right attention? I mean, everyone likes attention whether they want to admit it or not. But let's be real....what exactly does being needy mean and why does it have such a bad rep? If you find that you are asking yourself these questions then congratulations this is perfectly normal and I am 100% guilty of it. Should we really feel guilty for wanting that attention and energy from another person? Hell no. I think it's fair to say that everyone loves the feeling of being wanted- and the only way that is shown is through communicating to that person. But of course like everything else this is always easier said than done. And no, I don't have all the answers for you because this is something I struggle with A LOT and honestly hate to admit it. As human beings we are always so worried about how people view us and what they think about us but sometimes we just need to block all of that out and just feel what you feel and say what you want to say. I may not be sure about a lot when it comes to having effective communication with your partner however what I am sure of is  you should never feel guilty for how you feel. 

 

 

 

 

 

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